I'm Home

Dear diary, it's almost 4pm in the evening and I haven't even take my bath yet. Geezzz..I fell asleep after performing the Subuh prayer. I guess it's because I slept quite late last night. Me, mum and Syahmi went to the hospital in Kajang visiting my brother who was admitted there after an operation. The room is exclusive as it's a private hospital. It's nice. After that we went to a restaurant we usually went to for some meal. I just took a hot horlick and oh dear..it's way toooo sweettt. By the time we almost finished our meal, I saw a friend from primary school, Salmi Suhana who was also my classmate during standard six, with her two little sisters. It's wonderful knowing that some of my old friends are still staying here in Bangi. She told me about seeing our twin friends, Laila and Laily who (if I remember correctly) also still here in Bangi. It feels at home..yeah...it feels at home..:-)

The day before I went to FRIM to attend the work evaluation which also known as SKT (termed formally used for the government servant's work evaluation), I happened to get the chance meeting a good friend of mine, Apai. I was so happy receiving his text saying that he happened to be free that week. That time, since both of us haven't took our lunch yet, we decided to meet up and up-date our story. Apai took me to the restaurant near my place. A restaurant we went to after attending for a job interview at my previous work place. I remember sharing with him my private stories after attending the interview. Story which happened during our struggles earning the Bachelor Degree at UKM and I was only able to tell him by the time we already work for our second degree. Thanks Apai, you really are a good friend..:-). 

I am grateful to Him for fulfilling my prayer of wanting to pursue my study here in my beloved university. It's gonna be a new journey which I have already started. There are still puzzle pieces to be completed, yet I pray for the best. I asked a friend who is about to finish her study of her feelings about it. And she says..it still a process for her. Yeah..I really do get that. Baby steps dear..baby steps..:-). I took the time to meet my new friends and my new research team members. I am happy. It's interesting getting to know new people, new characters. It can be hard yet I hope this time, things will be better. I guess it's our way of adapting..isn't it?

I still keep in touch with friends from my previous work place. I am touched receiving a text from Kak Pah and Kak Sue and a phone call from Yasri. I miss them and grateful for getting to know them. Sometimes..we might not contact those people..anyone..we met in life..yet it doesn't mean they are forgotten. We might feel like we are being forgotten, maybe just maybe we should just be positive about it. It is something that I am myself trying to understand. Why is it that I feel so afraid (sometimes) to let people to reach out to me? Funny..I guess there are times when I just need to be with myself. Me and Him..just to understand and think things over..I guess..true friends will understand..:-)

I am moving on, step by step. I make time to text a friend or maybe a phone call or meeting up. I make time for my beloved ones. I make time to do simple things I enjoy doing. I let go of the past and cherish good moments. I pray for the best from Him all the time. Simple good deeds does make a big difference. And yes..you right, Apai. Here in Bangi, there really is a feeling of being at home..:-)

Friends..come and go..

Dear diary, it's public holiday today and currently it's raining. Well, not exactly. It has stopped somehow. I went to UKM in the morning meeting a senior, Dr Parvis who I met and went to UM with together with our other friend, Mandy. I wish to learn the techniques on how to do the DNA extraction. By 9 am when I arrived at the lab 4183, Dr Parvis was already there. We waited for an undergraduate student, Azreen as she was the one who will be doing this technique for her final year project. As she arrived, I tagged along them and see how things work.

Along the way, I miss it. I miss the time when I was working at MGI with the undergraduate students. It was quite chaos for me as I was already packed with my abundance of workload. Mei Perng was there with me helping me to work things out. When I was crying, I remember Mei Perng and Sri were there comforting me. That time was hard, yet, I miss it somehow. I miss my friends. I miss the feelings of working with my friends. When Mei Perng leaved for another project, I felt the emptiness not seeing her at her usual place. And when I started working with the undergraduate students without her, they become my friends. Izazy and Khuzaimah from the EST group while another three students from the Gene group (I've forgotten some of their names). I tried to work with them as a team. And I enjoyed it. I hope they enjoyed working with me too. 

When Sri and Latifah were also decided to leave as well, oh dear..it felt so empty. I started to spend most my time doing analysis at home. Later, I was informed that Izazy and another girl, Fazilah (who are currently my close friends, even though we don't see each other right now) will be continuing their study. I was so excited. It was fun. Somehow, we got along well. And they even took their effort to spend some money buying me a beautiful flower during my convocation. I even become friends with Izazy's sister, Jannah. 

Currently, Izazy and Jannah are finishing their study and Ila currently working at Klang. I miss them so much. I do realize that friends do come and go. Someone was considering me as loyal blog reader. Why is it that it makes me feel sooo uncomfortable. Furthermore, it's a he, a guy. I'm not sure if I'm a loyal friend because there are some "friends", even after years of being friends, in the end..the chemistry just...I don't know..different. Sometimes, I have to admit it even though it might hurt someone's feelings. Yeah...people change..friends..do come and go..I am grateful and lucky for still having those who are loyal yet..there are parts that I have to admit that..the chemistry or the trust..is just not the same anymore..probably due to some circumstances..I appreciate new friends into my life and still remember the old ones. I guess..this is life..:-)

I do enjoy the learning with Dr Parvis and Azreen in the morning. I get back home by 12pm. My family are having a holiday at Port Dickson and I'm here writing a new post. For the moment I feel like wanting my blog to be in private. Just doesn't feel like letting people read what I want to say or express. Later..:-)

Moving on

Dear diary, it's Saturday night. I'm here sitting in the ironing room and writing up for the next post. I went out starting in the morning attending the second class of the Financial Blueprint at Subang Jaya. I had a little headache since I didn't have a goodnight sleep last night. I don't know, I was just suddenly feel asleep with the lap top still on and the Super Junior song, "Hate You, Love You" still playing. I can't remember what time exactly I woke up but it was in the middle of night when I shut down the computer. I've been playing this song over and over again since I watch them performing in the DVD Super Show 3 in Yokohama. Kyuhyun~ah..:-).

I met two friends I made friends with in the first class (Errk, I forgot to ask their name) and sat with them again. It's nice. I am pretty sure that our age gap is quite big, yet we can still talk about ourselves. One of them who is being a wonderful housewife has a twin sons. How nice..I like twins. Don't know why. Probably being influenced by one of the American Family Series or the famous twin sisters, Ashley and Mary-Kate or my favorite twin brothers in Disney Channel Original Series, Zack and Cody (aaaahhh...I miss watching them).  When the seminar starts, I was concentrating even with a little headache. As the lectures went on and on..the headache started getting worse. When the-man-in-charge had us all watching videos, some of us did feel asleep including me..:-). Aaahhh...I just don't know how many percent of the information absorbed in my so-called-brain.

As the class finished for the day, I hurried to my car and headed to UPM. I texted a good friend of mine about meeting her. This coming Wednesday, I'll be having a workshop in UPM and I guess I am killing two birds with one stone where I can meet her and at the same time asked her the direction to the Lecture Hall. And...I guess it wasn't my lucky day when I entered through the usual entrance, it was jammed..Aaarghhh..what the?!@#$%. But in the end, I did find and arrived in one piece at the hostel she lives in. Then...we went straight to Alamanda...:-). Farah dear..thanks so much for listening to all those craps of mine while we were on the way. I just couldn't help it! 

We couldn't find a place to park the car until we arrived at the roof top. Huuhhh..it was hot. We get ourselves something to eat and then just hang out. I'm saving up money, so..just releasing my stress and spend quality time there. It does feel good. On the way back, we continued our conversation and finding our way to the Faculty of Agriculture (the Faculty I'll be having my workshop at). It was raining not so heavily and while arriving at her hostel I saw some carnival going on there and dropped by for a while (missing University's life). 

After saying goodbye and promise to keep in touch, I went straight home. It does makes me feel better after meeting and talking and sharing with a good friend. Sometimes, it is just necessary. I got exploded sometimes for keeping it all in. Some things never change, at least the burden is released. Life has to move on. Blaming others or myself won't solve the problem. I should just focus on what's more important. And, pray for His guidance, I guess everything will just come to its place..:-)